With school around the corner, I have flashbacks of how I could help my daughter be more successful in school. For the last 10 years, I have been fighting a battle with her for not doing well in school. It was not until I saw a brochure titled “My Child Hates School … and I Do, Too,” developed by the Denver Metro Community Parent Resource Center (CPRC), that things finally clicked for me.
In the literature, I saw statements like:
• My child says the teacher doesn’t like me;
• The school keeps calling me about my child’s behavior;
• I know my child is smart but she’s failing.
Then, I saw the magic words:
“Do you have a child with ADHD (who is) struggling in school?”
No one had ever told me that ADHD was a developmental disability and that my daughter may require special assistance in school to be successful. When she was in kindergarten, her teacher informed me that she had concerns about her not completing her assignments in the time allotted. But she never talked to me about the implications.
Instead, the teacher focused on the fact that my child ate her lunch slow and generally took her time doing everything.
Being a young parent who knew nothing about developmental disabilities, I didn’t realize that this should have been a red flag. My child may have a visual or auditory processing disorder. She may require special education services in school to meet her needs. The content, methodology, or delivery of instruction may need to be adapted in order for her to achieve meaningful participation in school.
But instead, I blamed my child. I thought she was being stubborn and rebellious. I thought a different learning environment would help her to be more successful.
In second grade, I moved my daughter from public school to private school. Of course, the situation did not improve, and began to have behavioral issues.
In sixth grade, I moved her back to public school. By then, I was starting to ask questions of the school. Should she be evaluated for a learning disability?
Her performance in school was not normal to me. I could not understand why a child would purposely want to be in trouble all the time at school. I knew she was intelligent. So why could she not be successful in school?
But school officials disagreed, telling me my daughter was more than capable of completing her school work. It was her behavior that was getting in the way of her success.
In seventh grade, I had her evaluated on my own, and discovered that that she had ADHD. Again, no one brought up the concern that she may require special education services in school.
Instead, the decision was that she should be placed on medication to help her focus.
In eighth grade, I moved her to a charter school. Once again, she was not successful, and her attitude and behavior got worse.
In ninth grade, I moved her back to public school. I called school officials to alert them of my concerns about my daughter’s past academic performance. Again, I encountered the same response, and received no help.
It was not until I applied for a leadership program with the Denver Metro CPRC in October 2011 that I got the support and information I needed to help my daughter.
It should not take 10 years to get help for your child. Special education and regular teachers most learn how to collaborate to ensure that the educational needs of all students are met. If it took me this long to figure out how advocate for my daughter, think how it must feel for a parent who can not adequately express himself.
Maya Wheeler lives in Aurora.
