There is golf, there is fun and then there is the 2012 US Open, a pointless and frankly spiteful attempt to humiliate the best golfers in the world. Entertain the public? Showcase skill? Illustrate to the watching world that here is a sport that might be worthy of their sustained interest and participation?
Alas, these appear to be alien concepts in the alternative universe occupied by the United States Golf Association, which chose to stage its annual championship at the distinctly mediocre Olympic Club – do not be fooled by the spectacular television shots of San Francisco Bay, this quirky layout hangs on the side of a hill and is the very definition of overrated – and then set up the course in such a fashion that survival is the primary goal for all involved.
For this we can all thank Rory McIlroy, who had the temerity to win last year's US Open at Congressional with a record low score of 16 under par. This week marks the USGA's revenge, its vainglorious run at reclaiming its marketing slogan "golf's toughest test". Well, they have succeeded, kicking sand in the face of many, including McIlroy and the world No1, Luke Donald, both of whom departed here on Friday evening despite the cut finally settling at eight over.
As for those brave souls who earned the right to play at the weekend, the slumped shoulders and hollow stares of those exiting the scorer's area told their own story. Never mind a players' locker room, the tournament organisers should have gone the whole hog and set up a field hospital instead.
Graeme McDowell, who won the 2010 US Open at Pebble Beach, played exceptionally well over the first two days and still could only finish with a two-round total of 141, one over par. A sunny soul with a finely-tuned line in diplomacy, even he had to battle hard to put a shine on what has been a week of attrition. "It's just tough to have fun out there, I've got to be honest with you. It's just a brutal test," he said before remembering his Ps and Qs. "The course is firm, but fair. It is what it is. I mean there's a couple of pins out there that you would look at them [and say] … is it necessary to put this on the side of a slope? But taking that out of the equation, it's fairly well set up. But like I say, not a lot of fun, not a lot of fun."
Not to play and certainly not to watch.
After two rounds there were three players were under par: Jim Furyk, David Toms and, to the delight of television executives from Albuquerque to Anchorage, Tiger Woods. All three deserve a medal.
As for taking home the US Open trophy itself, the list of potential winners is long, not least because of the way the course is set up. When conditions are this tough, when great shots are not rewarded as they should be, it is virtually impossible for anyone playing well to separate themselves from the field. Woods is a prime example.
He played beautifully on Thursday in signing for a one-under-par round of 69, and again played well in Friday's second round, getting round in a level-par 70 shots.
That left the former world No1 tied for the lead with his two fellow Americans – cause for celebration, you would think, for a man who has gone four years without a major championship victory. Yet like McDowell, Woods struggled to muster the kind of enthusiasm you might expect from a man in his position.
"My two best swings I made all week and I end up in just terrible spots," he said after Friday's round, citing his approach to the sixth green, which took a strange bounce and ended perched on the edge of a bunker and another into the 17th green, which bounced and then ran off down the slope to the right.
Is it too much to ask that good shots are rewarded? Evidently it is, although the players have nothing to gain by complaining. They have to take their medicine. "This is a different tournament," said Woods as he contemplated the challenges that lay ahead. "You have to stay patient, got to stay present, and you're just playing for a lot of pars. You just have to plod along." Inspired? Captivated? Didn't think so.