So, let me see if I have this straight. Because I support same-sex marriage, I should no longer eat at Chick-fil-A.
Or is it that I’m supposed to show my support for the cause by heading to the aforementioned fast-food chain for a little public display of affection? If I do go there to make out, can I take my wife, or must it be someone of the same sex? Do we kiss before or after the waffle fries?
Confusing.
I do know that my baker must be willing to put two men on top of a wedding cake.
And I guess I really shouldn’t spend $3.53 per day for a bucket of energy at Starbucks because of their treatment of farmers somewhere (and because CEO Howard Schultz paved the way for the Seattle SuperSonics, one of basketball’s gems, to move to Oklahoma City).
Is there still a boycott of Arizona in light of their legislation to crack down on illegal immigrants?
I suppose that doesn’t matter, because the only reason I’d planned to go there was to check out the Colorado Rockies’ newish spring-training digs — and I’m pretty sure that I’m boycotting them.
If you’ve already settled on Barack Obama as your candidate this November, you’ll have to think twice about your next take-and-bake pizza. You see, Papa John’s is taking heat because founder John Schnatter earlier this year hosted a fundraiser for Mitt Romney — and because he opposed Obamacare.
With chicken, pizza and coffee places scotched from the list of shopping spots, the easiest thing may be to just head for the environmentally and politically correct items at Whole Foods — unless, that is, you vowed to boycott the grocer over CEO John Mackey’s opposition to Obama’s health care plan.
Walmart has been a target of the boycott bunch. Same goes for the Minnesota-based Target Corporation, which angered gay-rights activists in 2010 when it made a donation to a gubernatorial candidate who opposed same-sex marriage.
Oh, did I mention that the store later faced a boycott from the conservative American Family Association because, in response to the earlier imbroglio, it upped its donations to gay-rights organizations?
You didn’t think liberal groups had a monopoly on corporate indignation, did you?
The American Family Association has called for dozens of boycotts ranging from The Walt Disney Company to Sears.
And recall that many listeners to Rush Limbaugh’s show vowed to boycott those advertisers who pulled their support after his remarks regarding Sandra Fluke.
Can it get get much worse?
Given the polarization in our politics and the spending unleashed by the Citizens United ruling, I fear so. And if efforts to make public the names of donors to super PACs succeed, you can count on it.
And then — goody — we’ll be a country of red retailers and blue boutiques, with a few purple purveyors in the middle.
Actually, we’re pretty much there already.
The website shopyourpolitics.com uses public campaign finance data to display the political leanings of notable companies.
And sophisticated political operations already crunch through credit card and other data to determine your political leanings based on, among other things, your shopping preferences.
Really, this boycotting-businesses business is getting so difficult to track that I’m thinking there should be an app for it.
But if you’re a conservative honoring the boycott of Google given its favorable stance on same-sex marriage, you won’t be able to download it via an Android smartphone. Also out of luck for my app will be those of you boycotting Apple over worker treatment at Foxconn in China.
Oh, and speaking of China and boycotts …
E-mail Curtis Hubbard at chubbard@denverpost.com. Follow him on Twitter: @curtishubbard
